Taxpayers in the Sunshine State certainly put up with their fair share of muck. Tallahassee, with its two state universities and a community college surely sees its share of tax dollar usage.

I’m not a smart man, but I know what waste is.

We have all heard stories of liberal educators infiltrating our colleges and universities by staying on  campus long after degrees have been obtained in order to drill liberal agendas into the subconsciousness of newly graduated high school kids.

While in most cases the the sneaky profs usually keep their intentions secret, we have here in Tallahassee one such educator who doesn’t mind broadcasting his fun views. So if you are a young mind who is just trying to figure out what you believe or if you are an old hat who needs a refresher course, here are T. Rex’s Reasons to be a Republican:

 

 
• If you are radically religious.  
• If you hate gay people.  
• If you hate black people.  
• If you hate women.  
• If you are greedy.  
• If you are full of shit.  
• If you hate foreigners.  
• If you hate children.  
• If you hate poor people.  
• If you think you are better than everyone else.  
• If you think you know best how everyone else should live their life.  
• If you are a gun nut.  
• If you are paranoid about government conspiracies.  
• If you think the government can’t get anything done.  
• If you are a Luddite.  
• If you are scared of the future and think that only bad things are going to happen.  
• If you think jobs are more important than the environment.  
• If you hate liberals.  
• If you hate Communists.  
• If you think the “fouding fathers” never did anything wrong or had any wrong ideas.  
• If you believe in government sanctioned death.  
• If you think war is great.  
• If you think people who don’t make it just didn’t try hard enough.  
• If you think parents own their children.  
• If you think parents have the right to beat their children.  
• If you think men own their wives.  
• If you think men have the right to beat their wives.  
• If you think men have the right to rape their wives.  
• If you think sexual harassment is usually no big deal.  
• If you think women are inferior.  
• If you think foreigners are inferior.  
• If you think minorities are inferior.  
• If you think the Bible is to be taken literally.  
• If you think that most rape accusations are false or trumped up.  
• If you think that most sexual harassment accusations are false or trumped up.  
• If you believe in taking human rights away from others.  
• If you believe “she had it coming.”  
• If you believe American values are the only correct values.  
• If you believe that there is any such concept as “American values.”  
• If you believe that poor people deserve to be poor.  
• If you believe in the myth of the “welfare queen.”  
• If you oppose equal rights for minorities.  
• If you oppose equal rights for homosexuals.  
• If you oppose equal rights for women.  
• If you think marriage is a “special right.”  
• If you wish that people with different ideologies than yours were dead (thanks J. Fairfield)  
• If you send annoying hate-filled e-mail messages to people who create humorous web pages (thanks J. Fairfield)

 

Now I don’t know if you qualify as a Republican by meeting just one of these “Reasons”, but I guess it would be a good start. If you want to be a really good Republican, you should probably shoot for more than one of these. If you are interested in tying in the Florida tax dollars to this list, look no further than the campus of Tallahassee Community College and the History and Social Science Division, where T. Rex or Kenneth Quinnell educates young minds in the field of Political Science. This list came from his website T. Rex’s Guide To Life which has since been relegated to the archives of the internet now that he is busy with sponsoring the TCC College Democrats and heading up the Leon County Young Democrats all while being the founder of the Florida Progressive Coalition.

I’m sure TCC President Bill Law loves having someone on staff who feels that a couple of reasons to be a Republican are that “you believe that poor people deserve to be poor.” and “you think men have the right to rape their wives.” That is quality education from a State employee. I hope parents think twice about paying for their kids to attend Quinnell’s section of Political Science.